Ian stared at the jersey that would no longer mean a thing to the world outside of this town, but would always mean the world to him. he slowly ran his fingers over the material remembering some of the good times. how he loved to hear his name chanted and the sound of the fans as they jump to their feet and cheer with the victory of another goal. he slowly smiled as he relived the memories over in his head till he felt a pair of thin arms slide around his waist. “i miss it” ashley whispered before she burried her head into the center of his back. “me too” ian spoke softly as he rubber her arms still stareing at the jersey. after awhile he tore his attention away from the past and turned his attention to his future that sat there upon his bed. he would never forget when he meet her.

DECEMBER 17, 2007

ian swung his hockey stick as hard as he could closeing his eyes awaiting the sound of the crowd to know of a victory or a loss. it was 4 to 4 and with this goal ian could win it for the blazers. when he heard a roar of cheers he opened his eyes to see the goal light flashing and the laughter from his team mates as they skated towards him. soon after the boys had showered and changed they took there places at the signing table waiting for excited fans. he smiled at a young boy as he signed his ticket and watched him run off and laughed quietly at the sound of his mother calling after him. without even looking at the next person he bent his head to sign the jersey that was in front of him “whats the name?” he said with a smile as he slowly looked up. “ashley” the young lady replied with a girn upon her face. He stoped dead in his tracks as he stared at the young girl, he had never seen anyone so beautiful and she didnt seem at all suprised by his sudden stare. she looked down quickly “could you finish please, i’ve got to get going” he frowned sighing quietly wanting to see that gorgeous smile again but finished signing her jersey and stood up handing it too her. “how about a picture?” he saw her unsure look and smiled his winning smile but quickly added more to the question when he saw her face not even flinch in the way girls usually melt for his smile. “for the team website, we need fan photos” she rubbed her arm slightly embarassed but agreed and walked around the table so her brother could take the picture. “im not that pretty you know, you dont want me on your website” she whispered then smiled a fake grin for the camera. These words shocked him more than he could have imagined and spoke quickly before the flash of the camera “gorgeous doesnt even begin to discribe you”

PRESENT DAY

As he walked towards where she sat on the bed she still had that same smile plastered on her face that reminded him of the first time. Right before her brother had taken the picture the words he spoke to her made her smile and when she smiled it almost hurt your heart to not know her. She had been his ball of energy since they met and she was never afraid to embarass herself once she was comfortable with him. They had been together 4 years as of last saturday and his life had only gotten better and better since she had stepped in. She had been a season ticket hold sense she was 10 and he had never noticed her, he always cursed himself for that. She never saw herself as beautiful but when he didnt let her near a mirror she felt beautiful. She hated her looks, her face was too square, she had one dimple and that was odd, her hips were to wide. But he always had something to say to make it better, and he never told her lies. All he saw was beauty when he looked at her, and couldnt see why no one else saw it, or so she said. She had been a senior in highschool when they first met so she was still stuck in those drama days, he still remembered his. She had always been overweight she had told him and kids still called her old nicknames and rumors of how she got so skinny. High school was rough for her but isnt it for everyone one? As he sat next to her she smiled sweetly at him and patted his leg as she laid her head against his shoulder. “Baby, I love you.” she looked at him and smiled with those green eyes that sparkled with innocence. She kissed his nose and crossed her eyes as she looked at him knowing exactly how to get a laugh out of him. She grinned when he laughed and he leaned in slowly kissing her softly. Ashley was his first faithful relationship and for him that meant something. Sex was always a must, all the girls he was with since he had moved from Canada to play hockey wanted that, a slice of town fame you could say. He and ashley however had never had sex, she told him from the very begining she had made a promise to herself to wait till her wedding night and that had attracted him to her even more. Independence and strong morals ment something to him, he didn’t want someone to just agree with him all the time and never actually show any kind personality. He brushed his fingers across her cheek slightly and smiled”ou football is better” he saw her nose wrinkle and laughed when she glared “lies! such lies!” she yelled and hit him with a pillow them fled from the room, he jumped up from the bed and chased after his destiny.

DECEMBER 20TH 2010

Ashley walked around the mall with her bestfriend and swung their hands that were clasped together back and forth as they sang a song they had made up as kids. “so Aly how’s mom and dad?” Aly’s parents had always been a second set of parents for Ashley, her father wasnt much of a father and Aly’s dad was like a building block for Ashley, she learned half the things that make her who she is from him. “They’re good, mom misses you” Ashley frowned slightly” aww really? I need to come by soon. I’ve just been with Ian so much” Aly nodded at her friend as they walked into the food court and sat down with their drinks and meals after they bought them. “I love the car booths, they are cute and cheesy, an amazing combo” Ashley said as she grinned at Aly “You’ve always been abit off huh Ashley?” Aly said with a smirk and Ashley gasped then laughed in tune with Aly “So how are things with Ian Ash?” Aly said then took a sip of her sprite. “amazing, remember how I used to dream about guys like him? I dont deserve him” Aly slapped Ashley’s hand as she went to bite her nails “How many times do me and Ian and everyone else in this world have to tell you how perfect you are?” Ashley shrugged a bit embarassed and kept her head down. Aly reached for her hand a squeezed her fingers your perfect Ash, remember that” Ashley nodded not beleiving Aly’s words. Aly just sighed and began to eat. Ashley pushed her food back and excused herself and went to the bathroom.

Ashley walked into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. She would never wear make-up because she hated the feeling of it on her skin. As she wiped her face the flashback hit her again and she soon fell to her knees in tears screaming no at the top of her lungs that worried the women around her. She felt a hand grab her shoulder and screamed as she turned around to meet the face of her attacker, the one who would always haunt her.

Aly heard the screaming and bolted to the bathroom grabbing Ashley in her arms and hugging her tightly “shh Ashley calm down” Aly rubbed her back and let her cry into her shoulder. This happens many times and when she asks Ashley what happened Ashley would never open up. So Aly sits there keeping Ashley safe but not really knowing what shes keeping her safe from.

Jenny jumped from her seat when Ashley walked in and held onto her daughter tight. “We cant do this anymore Ashley, you need to go see someone!” Ashley didnt say a word and just sat down on the couch, her mom had no idea went on in her head.. no one did. Ashley had always kept it a secret to embarassed to admit something was wrong. She was never happy with her appearance so it something was physically she hated herself and never wanted to move, she would end up in depression for days to disgusted to even feed or bathe herself. When she became depressed she could even go to the bathroom alone, mom had found her with a razor the wrist and sent her to the hospital. Ashley looked up to meet her mothers worried eyes and sighed deeply “I know you have no idea what wrong and I’m sorry, so sorry” Jenny hugged her daughter tightly and kissed her forehead then stared blankly at her daughter when she heard ashley mumble the words she had been waiting for almost all of Ashley life “I’m going to come clean about the terrors.”

Ian took ashley into his arms unaware of what had happened earlier that day and kissed her softly. He felt a pang of hurt when she pulled away without a sound and walked to the couch “Ash? Baby?” he said concerned as he sat beside her and held her hands “What is it baby?” he said softly. Ashley looked up to meet his eyes “I had an attack at the mall today” he scooped her up and set her in his lap holding her tightly as she kissed her hair” Baby what happenes that these terrors go on? I want to help…so bad” she looked at his pained face and knew it was time to tell him. “Ian..”she said and cupped his face in her hands and looked him dead in the eyes “You can leave after I tell you this, I wont chase you and you can forget me but just hear me out first.”